After discovering that next year’s high holidays will be on weekends, GOA students began praying for a divine intervention to move them back to weekdays.

Tanach teacher Rabbi Mayer said, “I love to see students praying, it’s really great to see that so many kids have finally found their religious calling. I just hope it was because they found their religious calling and not some ulterior motive.” 

Immediately, dozens of students transferred into Tefillah Shleimah, the prayer elective. It was hard to miss the loud davening coming from the Beit Knesset, which the class moved into to accommodate so many students praying. 

“It’s really interesting to see how people will flock to religion the second they have an issue,” said language arts teacher Mr. Hefetz.

The students’ calls did not go unanswered, however. The Student Council was notified by the Rabbinate of Israel that a plea would be sent to the Department of Hashem if a Halakhic council was established at Golda Och. 

This Halakhic council is still in the process of formation, while students loudly express with their hands their views on who should lead it. 

A reply may have come from the Department of Hashem, whose headquarters is in Jerusalem. However, it did not come in the expected form or tone. 

Apparently, Principal Huseman received a phone call directly from G-d. 

“It was actually a very productive conversation,” said Huseman. “Before we got into business, we discussed our early predictions for March Madness. We also discussed religion. I’m not sure Hashem believes in G-d. Anyways, very calm and civil.” 

Parts of the call were transcribed, with the recount showing G-d shouting from heaven through his phone. 

“If I hear one more bother from this school, either the ground will open up and swallow everybody or Nadav and Avihu won’t be the last to be killed by My wrath,” said G-d. 

He ended the discussion, saying, “You want to be written into the book of life, don’t you?”