A recent groundbreaking study found that a more popular classmate’s friendly attitude towards you may actually be hiding years of harbored resentment.
The study conducted by the Institute for Hallway Studies (IHS) examined over 3,000 student interactions, including smiles and greetings, lunch seating patterns, and group chat activity.
The researchers have concluded that in over 97 percent of cases, some of the overfriendliness functions as what they call a “social smokescreen.”
The study found that, “The seemingly friendly classmate doesn’t actually value the other kid enough to have a beef with,” which contradicts previous scientific theories. One psychologist explained the previous data, saying, “This ‘popular kid’ is popular because they are friendly and don’t like conflict. They’re not fake.”
Sophomore Noah Cytrynbaum said, “I’m honestly shocked by this study, and I’m not sure if I believe it. Studies like this can so often be conducted in botched or corrupt ways. Behavior like this doesn’t exist.”
The study also used first-hand accounts by students. One student reported that their friend “called me his ‘day one’ and then told people that I chewed too loudly when I was eating soup.”
The researchers also identified advanced techniques such as “strategic complement deployment,” like “you’re actually smart sometimes,” the “selective memory clause” (“wait, you didn’t know?”), and the particularly damaging “invitation vaporization effect, in which plans dissolve upon direct inquiry.
Previous studies showed that, “The classmate is actually as busy as they say they are, explaining why they can’t hang out,” according to a member of the guidance team.
However, the IHS study presented research arguing that, “The classmate doesn’t want to spend an awkward hour with someone they think is weird when they could be doing more fulfilling tasks, like watching Netflix or scrolling on social media.”
One student said, “This study really opened my eyes. Before this, I thought that our grade was just boring, and when I said so, everyone would quietly agree while avoiding my gaze. Now I get it.”
Despite the alarming findings, experts caution against assuming all friendly classmates are secretly hostile. “Some students are genuinely kind.”
Though conducted by the IHS, the study was funded by the Teenage Foundation, which also funded a recent study arguing that social media may have certain negative health effects on teenagers.
A study has been released refuting the IHS study’s evidence. This one was funded by the Teenager Society, which is a rival of the Teenage Foundation. The Teenager Society funded controversial studies, including one claiming to show that less popular kids don’t actually have feelings.
The IHS study opened up a big ‘can of worms’, so much new research and studies are expected in the coming months.
